Anxiety

I have two bio children and I promise you that adoption is way more stressful than being pregnant! I have been starting to suffer from anxiety since we received our referral back in March! You see, one of the many blessings about being pregnant (and mind you, I hated being pregnant!) is that you know when the end of the process will be. Well, you might not know the exact day and time but you know roughly when that baby is going to come out! Well, with adoption, you don't know! The paper work seems to take forever and you are stuck waiting on other people to process it. Then once you get a referral, you have this picture of your baby (the ultrasound) but you still have to wait on others to process it all! Then, if you're like me, you sit here obsessing over the many forums waiting to see if people with your same time frame get any new news and the stress begins!

I'm really struggling with this because I feel like I'm running out of time! See, this isn't something new. I get this way once summer vacation gets here. I worry that we won't get to do what all we wanted to do and we will have to start school. So, here I am stressing that we won't make it to China before Lynleigh's 2nd birthday. And I know that she doesn't know any different and she is probably as happy as she can possibly be in the situation. But I do! Blah! I never would have thought adopting would be like this. It seems so much easier on paper!