Heavy Heart

I know that my posts are usually witty stories of how crazy life is with three kids but tonight I just had to get some thoughts out of my head and on paper (so to speak).

About two weeks ago, I learned about two of my former students who had recently become parents. They are out of school and were trying to begin a life together...this relationship began 4 years ago in my 9th grade classroom. These kids are two of my favorites. Super smart and just cool kids to be around. They were blessed with a sweet and totally adorable little boy. Just hours after the baby was born, he was taken to the local children's hospital with an abnormal windpipe.

I remember reading this post on the dad's Facebook and thinking..."Oh, they will be just fine!" Then about a week or so later, I contacted them to see how the baby was doing. I learned that he had a condition that caused him to have fluid on his brain among many other issues. I became witness to two people that I still looked at like children themselves become strong adults for the sake of their kid. Wow! It was amazing to see not only how much they loved this little boy but also how much they were willing to sacrifice to take care of him. I put him on our prayer list at church and went straight to the big guns of prayer in my life.

I was fortunate enough to be able to visit these sweet parents and the baby in the hospital and while it broke my heart for them, I have never been prouder of two people. I left the hospital that day with a huge burden for this family and made it my mission to send them a support team! That's one of the cool things about my church family! When there is a need...it gets filled! People started asking me how they could help and soon this family was getting visits from strangers and meals taken care of! I was just so impressed.

Today, I contacted the mom just to see how sweet baby boy was doing and the news I got was not good. She said that the doctors had told them that he would not be getting better and that they needed to make the decision on the next step. They have made the hardest decision that I could never imagine making and have decided to take him off life support. I'm so broken for this family! And after talking to a friend tonight, it's got me thinking about another who made the ultimate sacrifice!

I often look at my kids and ask God how he could knowingly put his son on earth and then allow him to become the sacrifice for me! I don't think I could ever do that...and here I sit in my selfish world while someone I know is being asked to give up her son!

As if this situation isn't enough to break ones heart, I started reading a blog entry about a little boy who has been adopted into his forever family and the mom asked the question, "Is there a mother's day in China?" This started the crazy thinking in my head about another woman who had to give her child up...but instead of knowing that this baby would be ok (like my friend's baby will be in the hands of God) this mother gave up her baby with only the hopes that she would be ok. How do these women do it and why does it even have to happen? I mean, I know that if that woman in China wouldn't have made the sacrifice, I wouldn't have my baby girl. I get it...but I'm just left here with a million questions tonight...and they all begin with the word, WHY?

I'm not really looking for any answers and if you are still with me, thanks for listening tonight. I just wanted to lay the burden for a family that has been on my heart for a few weeks on your heart too. And I wanted to say to that mom as well as the mom on the other side of the world that your babies will be ok! God is good all the time and while we may never know the answers here on Earth, HE knows them all and one day he may share them with us when we are with him for eternity!