Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day to an Unknown Mom

For the past couple of weeks, I have had a burden for a woman with whom I've never met! This Mother's Day has been so wonderful and yet I am sad for this lady who is probably getting no recognition today. You see, in September 2oo9, this woman made the ultimate sacrifice. Because of her decision, I am Mommy to an amazing little girl today. Before we adopted Lynleigh, I had this view of Chinese women that in honesty, was very negative. I thought they were ok with "throwing away" their little girls in an effort to have the coveted baby boy. I thought they did it heartlessly without looking back. And because of my stupidity, I felt like I was doing them a favor by adopting. Since bringing Lynleigh home, I have read several books on the subject and have since learned so much about the Unknown Chinese Mother. These two books have changed my opinion about Lynleigh's birth mom and the many more women hurting because of the one child policy.
Silent Tears is about an American woman who lived in China for four years. In her time there, she volunteered for an orphanage. She tells of the babies who came and went, and by went I meant mostly died. She talked about the families that abandoned the little girls. And she tells about the heart break she endured during her time there.
This next book just about killed me to read. It's a journalists' tale of meeting with the mother's who were forced to kill or abandon their little girls so that the family could try again for a boy. Could you imagine killing your own child? She also opened my eyes to the extremely high numbers of female suicide in China. It's higher there than any other country. Want to take a guess why? Both books are hard to read but yet, I wish I could put one in every set of hands I came across!
Somewhere in this province, there is a mother who is probably crying her own silent tears. She is probably thinking of her little girl that she only was able to hold for a short time. She doesn't know that her palate has been corrected. She doesn't know that her baby is using a breathing machine to help with her asthma...for that matter, she probably doesn't even know she has asthma. And she doesn't know that her little girl has a love for Elmo and Rapunzel like no other. Happy Mother's Day to an Unknown Mother! With out your sacrifice, I would not be the mommy of a sweet, silly, and stubborn little girl! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You will never know what you have done for our family or how much of blessing you are to us!


  1. Beautifully written, Tobie. Thank you for the reminder to read those books.

  2. Not fair!!! (sniff, sniff) I am not sure I can read either book, but I am going to force myself to do it.