Every couple of nights, I like to check out the Holt site and the Waiting Children page. Tonight, I'm having a "too bad I'm off Paxil" night. It really breaks my heart (I know...it's true I really have one!) to see all of those kids just "left" at the door step with noted pinned to them! I'm serious..one of the pics said the little girl was left at the door step with a note giving her birthday. It makes me so mad that anyone would think that was ok. I know...it's better than the alternative of death or what ever...but I can't imagine!
Then, as I look through the list of babies/big kids...I find my self being so judgemental of their disabilities. I mean who am I to say "that one's not for me!" I know that God has a purpose and I'm just a player in that purpose. I know that I can't have them all. As a matter of fact...I'm scared that I won't get to have just one. What if God's plan is so different from what I imagined that I find my self truly disappointed? Oh...by the way...welcome to tonight's pitty party! I'm sitting here almost in tears and I feel like the only thing I can do is just sit and pray for these kids.
I know it's not my place to question your plan. I know that I can't control any situation. But Daddy, I'm begging you tonight to find loving homes for those sweet babies on the waiting child list. God, I lift up the little 14 year old boy who is running out of time to be adopted. I pray that you will send him a forever family! I pray for the little boy with the cleft lip/palet. God, send him a family that understands his needs and is willing to meet them. I pray that you will lay it on the heart of a family to take in the little girl who can't see and the baby who has a hearing disability. Help the world understand the massive need for families these kids have. Remind me daily to pray for the special baby you will put in our family. Remind me to lift up her birth mom and the difficulties she will face while she is pregnant and the emotions that go along with giving up your baby! God, I pray that you start putting in place the means and route that you will have us take and that we need! Please bless our desire to save one of these children! And Daddy, please love on these kids when there is no one else to do so!
I love you and praise you!