Friday, June 5, 2009


In an attempt to continue the adoption journey, I have weened myself off of Paxil. I read some where that you can't take antidepression medicine for two years before adoption. Not to mention that I'm still trying to lose some much needed weight. Well, this process of weening is making me so incredibly emotional.
Yesterday, I shared my little secret world of this blog with a close friend! Now, I know this blog isn't really a secret (Amber) but I only have one person that I have officially shared it with until now.

Let me explain. I have a friend who, like me, has two boys. She has this crazy desire to have a little girl. I don't know anyone like that! haha! The difference in the two of us is this...I can safely have more children. She can't! After her second son, she had some serious problems and it was suggested that she not physically have another. I've never experienced anything like this but I can only imagine it makes having another child even more important! It's like when I tell the kids "No" they can't do something. It seems when the word "No" is said, it makes what ever it is more appealing.

About a year ago, I shared with my friend why I wanted to adopt a little girl. Besides the million reasons I could think of...I realized that I want a daughter because of my relationship with my mom! It stinks when you're a teenager, but as an adult, mom's can be your best friend. I talk to my mom everyday. Tony talks to his at the most once a week! Is that what will happen when my boys grow up? Well, the more we talked the more we had the same feelings about having a daughter. Since that conversation, I have prayed for this friend and the possibility of adoption.

She shared with me yesterday that it seems to be an obsession with her these days. I totally know what she means! That was one of the reasons to start this blog. Not only to document all of the love I have for my unknown little girl but to also get all of the obsessing out of my head and on paper. I want our baby sister to know how much we loved her even before she was born! I want her to be able to read about herself and how I felt in the process of her arrival! And sometimes it's just nice to write about what's on my heart!

I'm praying that this friend will find a little peace with her obsession by journaling about it! I hope that she will get the chance to visit my site and know that it's ok to be thinking about this! It's normal to have a desire to love another child!

I can't wait for our baby sister to be here! I love that my boys talk about her as if she's on her way any day! They already love her so much and I love that because she hasn't even been conceived!

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