I've Lost Count!

You will be happy to know that I have lost count! You see, I had been counting the days since LOI and had become very obsessive about it! So much so, that I was starting to feel myself becoming very depressed about the whole situation. Well, through lots of prayer and with the help of my GOD....I would have to look at a calander to tell you at this moment!
I've also stopped stalking the adoption forums waiting to see if others near me have gotten their LOA. I've been keeping myself busy trying not to focus so much on when paper work will arrive.

Last night, a friend texted me and said that she felt lead to tell me that not only is this in HIS timing for Lynleigh...but also, it's HIS timing for my boys. This is my last summer to spend with just them and that I need to focus on making them feel important as well as spend time teaching them God's word! (I added that last part because I feel like God is saying to live it up for him this summer!!!)

So, here's to summer...and not knowing what day it really is!!!

A New Perspective!

I have been trying to work through the issues I've been having with our LOA taking so long, so I have decided to dive into the word, read Crazy Love (because it's for our small group), and working on how I've been praying. And then, this weekend, a new friend gave me a totally new perspective.

You see, I'm to the frustrated part of this adoption. Where people are always asking questions that I just don't have the answers to and it's really starting to take a toll on my emotions. And I'm so tired of everyone offering up the "it's all in God's timing" help. While venting to a friend, she mentioned that in her last adoption she realized that it was in God's timing but not for her...for her son. Had they gotten him six months earlier they may not have had the good transition they did with him. All this time, I have been praying that Lynleigh will transition well and instead of realizing that God has been working this out for her...I felt it was being worked out for me! I have been selfish with my prayers and needs. I wasn't thinking that I had asked him for something and HE was answering my prayers!
So, I'm still praying for speedy paper work and I'm still praying for her transition! But I'm praising HIM for his answered prayers this week!

Is It Today?

Romand 8:24-25
"We are given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)"

Is today LOA day? I feel like it just might be! For the first time this week I'm not sitting with tears about to flow over and I'm feeling "confident" about what I have been waiting for! I can really feel all of the prayers that everyone has been sending my way. I'm serious about not feeling like I'm going to cry today! The past two weeks has been really hard and has set me on the edge of being depressed. But today, despite the lack of sleep last night, I'm feeling renewed in God's promise! I'm feeling confident in how well HE is taking care of Lynleigh! And I'm feeling like Good News is right around the corner!

20 Months

Yep, she turned 20 months today and still no word!

Today is tough and I'm so busy and overwhelmed that I almost can function! Here's to hoping tomorrow is our day!

BTW...today is day 58!

Day 57....

And nothing new! I've been stalking adoption forums for a few weeks now and I'm starting to notice that all the people waiting on LOA are not hearing anything either! I"m wondering if there will be a huge shipment of them soon and we will all hear!

On the other hand, I'm really starting to feel like we will not travel this summer. Each day that passes puts us closer to the school year and it's very stressful! You see, I'm starting a new school next year and I will be teaching a different grade. So, as you can imagine, I am already nervous about that and now I will have to plan for a sub for six weeks! The good part of that is that the boys will be in school, so Lynleigh and I will have plenty of time at home together!!! I guess I will start focusing on that aspect of the school time travel!

I'm hoping that Friday of this week brings good news! Please pray for our paperwork! I will come and I am claiming that in the name of Jesus!!!!!

Tears....

I'm reading the chronological bible as preparation for a bible study I will attend this summer. I picked up on the day that is listed in the bible instead of starting at the very beginning. (We will start at the beginning in the study so I didn't want to re-read) As I'm reading, I find that my prayers and blogs sound a lot like David when he went through his "crybaby" phase! There are so many Psalms that say things like "Why have your forsaken me" or "Where have you gone?" I feel like David right now! I know that God hasn't left me and I know that He's sitting with Lynleigh right now taking care of her until He's ready for us to come get her...but I feel like He's busy somewhere else. I know that HIS timing is perfect, but I can't help feeling guilty that I'm living life...going to baseball games...snuggling Brady and Kaden...and she's sitting there waiting on me to come get her and I'm disappointing her! I know she doesn't know that we are going to be her family and she can't possibly understand that there is a better life out there waiting on her. But I'm so upset that she is sitting in an orphanage probably waiting for her turn to be held by the few care givers that are working, longing for human touch!

I called this post "tears" because for someone who doesn't cry much, I have shed a lot of tears this past week about this! I'm begging from the bottom of my heart that you will pray for Lynleigh to hurry home! Please pray that God will expidite the paper work and get us on a plane to get her! And pray that her heart will be prepared for us to be her family and that God will continue to provide the funds for our travel!

Day 55

"Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my Savior and my God!" Psalm 42:11

So, I log on to Facebook this morning to see several people had posted this verse as their status. Wow! I needed to hear that one today! This weekend was really hard! We are now on day 55 of our wait for LOA and I have found myself on the verge of tears all weekend! It seems like everyone asked me about the adoption this weekend. I'm so happy that so many people care about us and are interested in knowing but it's hard telling them that we still have no news. I guess it's just that I'm so disappointed in how slow things are moving that I'm just letting any thought of the adoption get me down!

I have a friend who has been trying for more than a year to get pregnant and each month she gets the disappointing news that she's not pregnant. I can't imagine what she is going through and I feel so guilty that I'm being a cry baby about waiting on paper work when she is waiting to even get pregnant!

So, this verse today was really uplifting! Because I am discouraged and I am sad but I know that I need to be praising HIM and not wallowing in my sadness. So, I am praising HIM for all that he has done and for taking care of my sweet Lynleigh while I can't. And I'm praying for paperwork to be sent to us this week because it's killing me to know that my little girl is sitting there and there is nothing I can do to make this move any faster!